So… the first picture I would like to post is a very special beautiful view…My own backyard!!! I am blessed beyond belief to live in a small house with a million dollar view in coastal Los Angeles. In the morning the hummingbirds arrive, feeding on the beautiful Honeysuckle and Hibiscus flowers that surround our backyard.  We are located on a small curvy hill, so each backyard is completely private.  The breeze is 24/7, and brings the salty, fresh ocean air through our windows, flowing through our home.

It is, to say the least, heavenly. But when we arrived in July 2016, I couldn’t ingest the beauty.  My family and I, that consists of my husband, 3 kids, (my step kids, 2 of them who moved with us to California), and dog Mia, moved here from Florida.  My husband, who is also a doctor, and I had been in private practice for the 6 years prior, and were burning out!!! Medicine had gotten so volatile, that reimbursements went from spectacular, to great, to feasible, to breaking even, to…’oh crap’. We had employees that were like family to us, and we couldn’t afford to pay them.  We took out our own savings to try and keep things afloat, but it just wasn’t a possibility any more.  Small little practices were being bought out by larger ones that had the man power to fight for bigger and better re-imbursements, and our ‘little engine that could’ just could not anymore.  We were lucky enough to sell our practice for just enough to pay off our debts and move. We decided to join a big medical group in LA- a place where my husband had gone to med school and had always wanted to move back.  The decision to move, and the actual transfer happened very quickly, as we had to get to our new destination with time to sign our kids up for school.  Also, our savings were getting depleted, and we could no longer sustain our practice.  When we arrived in California, I was actually terrified.  We had 2 months of free time before our next jobs were to start, and we were very, very tight on money.  One may think that a two partner physician power couple with a view like the one we had could never face financial difficulty, but that couldn’t be further than the truth.  I was so scared that we would not have enough money to even feed our kids, and we had to learn to say ‘no’ to our sweet kids at the supermarket, when they asked for basics.

I would sit in our den, paralyzed by fear, watching Friends on TV, completely in my own head, unaware of the beauty that surrounded me.  My husband:  kind, enlightened, and aware, tried to get me to enjoy the amazing sunsets, and cool night breezes, but I just refused.  It wasn’t until we started working that I decided to start exploring my surroundings, and was blown away by the inspiring sights, and my enchanting back yard.  Looking back, I feel like I missed a beautiful two months, that I could have spent making new friends, enjoying my family, and looking for the beauty around me.  I no longer want to be incarcerated by the bondage of self.  This blog, even if no one ever reads it, is beneficial to me, and my spiritual growth, because I live my life looking for the beauty that surrounds me to share with you.  You, my dear friends, have already changed my life, and I am honored to be a vector of beauty to others.  Keep the comments coming, and together we will continue to overcome the struggles that originate in our own minds.  Namaste!